The Aftermath

Transfixed in the aftermath, trying to stay warm in the warmth of memories long ago. I don't know what tomorrow has to bring, but I know I'm more than just a man living out his days awaiting death. Beneath the madness of my thinking lies a heart & mind that cannot be swayed, for I control my destiny-I control my heart.

Cryogenic

Contemplating, just concentrating on the futility of it all. The wall has hindered me from pursuing my dreams. Unraveling from the seams seems to be the means by which humanity dreams. Countless numbers come to & fro; beneath the snow lies the crow. Cryogenics doesn't seem to know whether or not the cold can save us from the old adage, that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The longer the wait the more tedious the debate; I can't wait to live, to awaken from this slumber.

Reverb

Echoing silence reverberates as I sit transfixed. Focusing attention to the question; never needing to relinquish this, the end to our beginning. Sinking while singing in the hurricane; buried beneath the water. Somber, I wonder? Dreaming a world my own, a place without restrictions & needless questions. Such negativity belongs to the dead. Instead of weeping, why not sing: instead of sorrow, why not dream, & still I dream. Never finding a love I can call my own, I fade away into the sun.

Circuitry

Counting down the days; calculating the distance between now & then; computing these feelings humans call emotions. Looking for my heart among the circuitries. Heal my soul, somebody heal my soul! The cold vancany leaves me silent--violent. Take my hand & lead me through the brier. Trying to understand the members of my being; falling victim to circumstance. Never questioning the length of time it takes to be made whole. Counting the years away: calculating the distance between heaven & hell. Computing these feelings of adoration intertwined with joy. Finding myself among the circuitries, one of many lost throughout the centuries.

One Eyed Fairytale

The warmth of the sun has gone, for I have fallen into shadow. Beneath the trees lies a remnant of myself, the elf spoken of in childrens' fables. Don't look for me, for if you find me I will only cause you pain. How I long to live again, to feel the warmth of the sun again. But alas, I have fallen into shadow where the only company I keep is sorrow.

Sin

Never understanding what it truly feels like to be alive. I strive & fall victim to selfish ambition, not to mention the chaos within. Believing the lie that I can fly-I slowly begin to die. Batting an eye to the precipice on which I stand. Leave me, memories of long ago: leave me, everything that could have been; if it weren't for Sin, maybe I could live again.

Milky Eyed

Everyone has their obsession; some obsessions are more damaging than others, but still damage. No matter how small, obsessions tend to ruin the life of its possessor. Like so many before us, we tend to bury our heads in the sand: unable to foresee the outcome of our addictions.

Nude

Naked for all the world to see. Eroding away before my very eyes. Autumn cries as I lie dying in Winters' arms. Now is no time to pretend, for life is but a vapor stolen by the hands of Time. There's nothing left to know, nothing more that needs to be said. Why pretend to be a lover, when we're wolves disguised in sheep's clothing? Searching for reassurance, still no insurance for the life to come. Protect me from heartbreak. Even though I pretend not to feel, I feel; In need of something real, of someone true. Between me & you, all I need is you. Slowly beginning to heal as you hold me in your arms. With my head pressed firmly against your chest I find rest as you whisper words of redemption in my ear. Tears come & soon I find myself lost in your eyes. Take me away, this I pray: for one day all I'll have is you to console me as the world grows cold & turns to gray.

Half-light

The light shines so bright in the half-light, between heaven & hell. Wandering in thoughts of realtivity. The brevity of it all leaves me dwelling in vanity. Searching in curiosity, I linger for far too long in the comfort of my psyche. Picking myself apart, trying to find somekind of humanity. Discovering I'm only earth & water. Be careful with yourself, for in time life will be nothing more than a distant memory.

Enigma

Feeling like I'm losing everything I am. Putting to death everything that was. Dreaming while life steals happy memories away from me. Pretending to be okay, I play the fool. Pretending to be something I'm not, I unravel. Forgetting yesterday, forging through today. Reminiscing loss & sorrow: wallowing in pain till winters' morrow. Take me as I am, though you might not like what you find. For I am an enigma unto myself.

Wound

Drifting away: waving to the departed. Trying to conjure an emotion, urging myself to evoke some kind of reaction. Forsaking the lonely & deserted. Standing so proudly upon my arrogance screaming aloud. I don't care who hears, I don't care who stops & stares. Trying to voice what I feel- to heal myself from the wounds of youth. This monstosity you see before you is a wounded soul in need of love. Please don't leave me for someone better. I'll be whatever you want me to be, just say you love me!

A Better Man

Struggling to find enlightenment. To hell with it! Why waste my time searching for signs & wonders, when winter is just a season? Too many questions only breed disappointment. Gone are the days of naivete: hear what I say I pray, & still I pray. Never knowing what I've said-dead to you. Sinking in disappointment, never having a father to teach me how to be a man. Deaf to love; numb to affection. My attention rests in the hands of him who can teach me how to be a better man.

The Meaning

Demons knocking at my door; Sitting here in the half-light. Afraid to succomb to the night within. Closing my eyes I pretend to fly-away from all the madness, from all the sadness. Missing the touch of Reason. Always accused of treason, I refuse to assimilate. Accused of being anti-social: preferring to choose words with purpose, rather than empty meaning.

The Beginning of Wisdom

Drowning in the sound of crashing waves. Staring into space, trying to find some trace of you. Give in to the gray; Praying for the day when I can defeat these demons plauging me. Left here to fend for myself: all that I know lies barren on an empty shelf. Trying to survive as life passes by. Beggars point & scoffers stare as I lie here begging for peace of mind. Trying to understand myself-never smiling for fear of attack. When the darkness comes I find myself numb to everything I know. Behold, for the beginning of wisdom is to know thyself.

Cain

Gravitating towards what I know: falling for what I feel. Percieving the unknown, only to find myself without a home. Thristing for what I believe-stifled in disbelief. No listens to what I say, no one cares anyway. The mundane is to blame for the chaos we seek. Give thanks to Cain-maybe he'll hear our prayers, or maybe he'll kill us all as he did his kin.

Nothing but a Man

The days are getting longer or so it seems. Trying not to embrace myself: always losing in this struggle between want & desire. Searching for something other than love; Searching for something other than the mundane. Lost inside, I dare not run, I dare not hide-for hiding will only prolong the inevitable. Darkness comes, he come for me: weak & defenseless-I dare not scream, for fear of being found out. For I am nothing but a man.